Online gambling is in and real-life casinos are out. Why gamble in a stuffy-ass, smoky-ass casino filled with all kinds of non-desirables when you could kick back at home with an entire bottle of scotch and go to town on some chance games? I hate it when random people bump into me when I’m gambling. Then, there are the annoying folks who think I want their breath in my ear when they wish me luck on my next craps roll. Fuck that noise. I want to gamble comfortably in my home, where I may or may not be wearing an automated fleshlight. Some people like getting some suction on their cock while they piss money away. Don’t judge me. The thrill of gambling gets my creative juices flowing. By creative juices, I, of course, mean cum.
Dafabet! They are known as one of Asia’s most badass betting sites, which means you already know there are a shit ton of ballers on here every goddamn day looking to cash out big. Are you going to be one of them? Dafabet is known for its security, fair odds and payouts, and even those crazy-ass promotions you get as a new member. From free spins to reload bonuses and Holiday surprises, Dafebet isn’t all about taking your money like other lame-ass betting sites. Quite frankly, they’re practically putting cash back in your wallet.
Are you looking for a place to go to find all kinds of casino games and more, but you don’t want to have to go to a physical casino? I do not blame you! Who wants to go to a place like that where people piss and shit their pants? Not I!
Golden Bet! Whether I’m training my battle-hardened dick in an intense porn marathon or perusing the offerings of some red light district with the mission to act out what I’ve seen in my favorite smut flicks IRL with a willing harlot, I’m a guy who appreciates all manner of vice. But once I’ve drained my balls, I’m not done there!
Are you looking for a place to go where you can gamble nonstop? I know you’re in the mood to do that, and I know just the place for you to visit. It is called Las Atlantis, and like the fabled underwater city of Atlantis and its fish orgies, you’re bound to get lucky when you start gambling on the many attractions that await you. See what is available for you by looking at all of the many games that await you by checking out Las Atlantis today, and see what you’ve been missing!
Bet Adrian! Are you on the prowl for fun casino action? Of course you are! And I know that you’re looking for a place that has more games than you can possibly handle!
A lot of people who have been following The Porn Dude for years often find that they’re blissfully unaware that my enormous porn-trained cock is far from the only thing I yank daily. I mean, come on, guys! Do you think I’m able to beat my meat to hardcore porn 24/7 without taking some time out?
Are you a Bet Whale? That’s a rhetorical question meant to introduce the site title right at the start of my review, but honestly, it opens the door to some serious discussion about what constitutes a whale in the world of online gambling. Before you get scared away, I’m pretty sure it’s just a branding thing; they ain’t going to kick you out if you’re just placing regular-ass bets instead of dropping a grand with every wager. Hell, maybe using the site at all will earn you the title of Bet Whale, but I ain’t giving out badges and neither are they.
I wonder how Red Dog Casino chose their mascot, because they ain’t the first brand to associate themselves with a vermillion canine. Depending on your age and where you’re from, you may associate similar pups with beer, G.I. Joe, an Australian film series or an enormous, friendly doggo named Clifford. Whatever the case, they’ve made it their own here, with a cartoon mascot who doesn’t resemble any of the other characters I mentioned. Speaking as a vice-oriented cartoon mascot myself, I feel a certain affinity for this gambling hound.
Are you ready to get your gamble on, mother fucker? I know you are! Which is why I want you to take a good hard fucking look at all of the amazing gambling opportunities that are coming your way over on TCL99!
Dazzle Casino! Do you want to find all kinds of fucking casino games that will have you playing your brains out and hopefully winning big? But you don’t want to visit a physical casino to make that shit happen? Then bro, I want you to know all about this online casino that you need to know about!
Are you looking for a place that has all kinds of amazing betting opportunities just for you? I know you are! That is the whole reason that you are here!
All Bet has one of the most inclusive titles I’ve seen attached to a gambling website, suggesting you can put money down on whatever the hell you want. My bookie offered similar opportunities, and frankly I’ve been pretty bored ever since he went to prison for tax evasion, illegal bookmaking and an incident with a chicken in a motel. When I heard about this next website, I immediately had high hopes for a legit and legal way to risk some cash in search of much, much more.
With a name like High Roller Casino, I just naturally assumed this next joint catered to high-class, fat-pocketed and big-dicked motherfuckers like yours truly. What’s in a name, though? It’s usually an exercise in branding, and while this branding is strong and memorable, I don’t think they’re going to give you the bum’s rush if you’re placing smaller wagers than you might expect from Elon Musk. Hell, the minimum deposit’s only twenty bones, which is barely enough for fast food these days.
Do you want to do something with all of that fucking cryptocurrency? Instead of sitting on it, hoping that you can fucking do something with it one day? Then why not place your bets on it instead?! You can do it over on Shuffle!
Hello, freaks! You are a fucking maniac who never gets tired of 18+ fun, and I'm here to help you find another gem! So, on today's menu, we have an online casino named ivip9sgp.com. I fucking hate messy domain names, but I'm in a too good of a mood to bitch about it now. Never fucking mind!
Are you looking for an online casino that can give you the same thrill you’d find at a real life casino? You know, without having to smell the piss or shit that comes along with it? Then you need to fucking take a look at Asino right away.
Do you feel like a lucky son of a bitch? Do you? I said do you?!
Are you looking for a casino that makes you feel like you are in a comic book? Then I highly encourage you to take a look right now over on ComicPlay. You will find a whole host of hot casino action that is sure to make the gambler in you come out and yell, “oh yeah!”
Everyone likes games, right? I like games and everything about them. I enjoy playing them, analyzing them, reviewing them, and promoting them. It is better when I find a single website that hosts a whole bunch of them. It is even better when, if you play your virtual cards right, you literally win big prizes. Despite the banal name, Highway John is a marvelous casino website. But don't just take that single line and assume my conclusion. There is a lot more you are going to want to know about HighwayJoin.com.
If you have never been to one, going to a casino is a great time. Those of you who have, know what I am talking about. The bright lights, the crisp smell of the air, the buzz of excitement as people rake in money from gaming. The only thing that might be better is getting laid.
I’ve been building my Maharaja Fortune over the years, largely through my work as a professional masturbator, pornography scholar and dick-slanging stud over at PornDudeCasting. The thing about getting rich is that it can take a long fucking time and an insane amount of work, and honestly, who wants to deal with that? There’s a reason why gambling is so attractive, damn near as enticing as all those beautiful naked girls I spend my days beating off to on the web. If only somebody would combine my love of surfing the internet in my underwear with my lust for cold, hard cash.
Are you fucking ready to get your gamble on? Well mother fucker, I urge you to fucking check out Richard Casino promptly if you’re in the mood to win fucking big. Don’t even mess with those goddamn local casinos! Fuck around with an online casino right here on Richard Casino, and see why so many people regularly visit a casino like this one to bet on their all-time favorite casino games.
There are three things that will always retain their value, no matter what happens. A twelve-point zero earthquake could rattle our major cities, hurricanes could tear the coasts apart, deadly plagues could spread, or the whole damn world could end. Still, these three things will be as valuable as they ever were.
If you thought Happy Luke Malaysia was going to be an adult site following the adventures of a guy named Luke as he fucks his way across Kuala Lumpur, well, I’d say you’ve got a feel for what I typically talk about here at ThePornDude. You’d be wrong, though, because this joint actually caters to a different vice entirely. Horny perverts may find themselves blue balled by the lack of dirty movies as they crank their flesh levers repeatedly, but gamblers looking to crank virtual slot levers will find themselves in a suitable venue. There’s a time and place for everything, at least according to the manager who caught me jacking off at McDonald’s again.
N1 Bet! Are you looking to get your fucking bet on? Ready to partake and win big when it comes to your favorite sport? Then I want you to know that you need to fucking check out N1Bet and find your preferred sport! No matter what you are in the mood to bet on – and no matter what sports are in-play at the moment – N1Bet has what you need.
Somebody sent me a Vave link this morning and asked if I’d take a look, and I assumed I was in for another afternoon of whacking off to pretty (18+)girls and orgy movies. Imagine my surprise when the site turned out to be dedicated to another vice entirely. The joint wasn’t much use in helping me fill up an old gym sock with millions of my unborn children, but it did light up my brain with a nice cycle of risk and reward.
I’m about to make a Gem Bet on Gem.Bet, so let’s hope I win a stack of gems to stick back in the machine in search of still more gems. I know it sounds vaguely like some fantasy RPG tomfoolery because I’m talking about gems here, but that’s just a metaphor, my gambling friends. Like any good online casino, you can win real money. Frankly, I wouldn’t even be talking about it here on ThePornDude if it didn’t tie in to a real-life vice. This next site’s really fucking hard to jack off to, but at least you can light up those other pleasure centers in your brain with a bit of monetary risk and reward.
I checked out Paripesa this morning while waiting for a flight. I’d been hoping to do some gambling before being crammed between two strangers, which is one of the most difficult situations to be in for a compulsive masturbator like myself. Unfortunately, I got a message saying “Access to this website is prohibited in the USA.” Yeah, I ended up sulking, cranky and blue-balled for hours while traveling through the sky and over the ocean in what many would consider a goddamn miracle of modern technology.
Bwin8 sandwiches a win between a B and an eight. Another way of looking at is that they’ve put a prize in the middle of some bait (b8), and frankly, I think that’s a hell of an honest way to describe any casino. I’m not totally sure that’s what they were going for, but hey, I respect it either way. Hell, that low level of mystery and intrigue about the name is enough to get a bored Porn Dude to load up the site in between afternoon fap sessions, if for no other reason than to figure out what they’re peddling. I’m still a little confused on that front, but whatever—at least I got to gamble!
Someone slipped a Crickex link into my DMs the other day, asking me to take a look and let them know what I thought. On most days, I spend the morning and afternoon reviewing hardcore pornography before relaxing in the evening with some recreational, off-the-clock masturbation. Based on the name, I really thought Crickex was going to be some weird-ass insect-related fetish fuckery, and I really wasn’t looking forward to fap testing it. Fortunately, it turned out to be something else entirely. It’s still pretty difficult to whack off to, but at least you might make some money while you’re at it.
Lucky Start! Are you ready to play casino games until you drop? Well, are you? Then you need to know about a casino that I’ve found that will hopefully have you winning big!
Do you wish that you could bet on the casino games that you know you fucking enjoy, yet you don’t want to fucking visit a physical casino that smells like cat piss? I don’t blame you – so don’t fucking go there! Instead, head over to an online casino that has more games than your local casino could ever dream of!
Bet Visa! It may sound like you can bet using only Visa as your form of payment, but that is not necessarily true. Since we’re being true here (and that’s always the case on ThePornDude), I have no fucking clue why this Indian online casino calls itself BetVisa. But here we are, standing here with our dicks in our hands and wondering what the fuck the name is all about.
Do you want to get your fucking gamble on but you don’t want to use real money? If you are one of the millions of people around the world that have been sitting on your cryptocurrency for a long fucking time and actually want to use it for something, then I fucking invite you to take a look at BCH.games right away. It is here that you will find opportunities to play casino games that will allow you to gamble with your actual cryptocurrency.
Gamdom popped up in my inbox this morning, and I didn’t initially know what the site was about. Given the fact that I usually review hardcore pornography, I looked at the name and kind of thought it was going to be a BDSM site where all the dominatrixes were showing off their legs. I like bad bitches with sexy gams, so I got out the lube and settled in to start my day with a kinky fap. Imagine my surprise when I pulled up the front page, fully hard and lubed up, and found a gambling site instead of something I could jerk off to. Silly me, I guess, but all was not lost; masturbation ain’t my only vice.
Many say that prostitution is the world’s oldest job, but I would say gambling deserves to be on that also. I’m not a fucking evolutionary biologist, but I bet even modern monkeys will put a banana down on a territorial dispute. Am I saying they calculate odds and find the over-under? No. But if Steve and Joe get into a fight, you can bet the other baboons are putting skin in the game.
When it comes to gambling your hard-earned money away, you have plenty of options to choose from. You can go to the local convenient store and buy a scratch card and hope you win more than the card is worth. Or you can go to a local casino where if you don’t catch COVID, you might catch food poisoning from the complimentary seafood buffet.
As soon as I heard of Miami Club Casino, I started envisioning palm trees, bikini girls, and slot machines spitting out coins by the bucketful. Being a bit of a pervert, I couldn’t resist thinking about all the good porno that comes out of the area. It’s kind of ironic because I don’t think the site is actually based in Florida. It’s a branding thing, meant to evoke precisely the images I mentioned, and to be entirely honest, it worked. I was ready to give it a shot as soon as I heard of it.
Slot Joint Casino! Are you in the mood to play all kinds of kick ass casino games mother fucker? I am sure you are! Why else would you fucking be here? I will wait, because I want you to tell me. This is serious: what the fuck are you doing on ThePornDude?!
Are you looking for an online casino that knows how to make you bet your brains out? If that sounds like a type of medical procedure you would rather not have to deal with, do not fucking fear! You are not going to have to undergo a procedure just so you can get your bet on! Instead, know that betting how you wish is just as easy as visiting 4 Crowns Casino.
Since Covid, a significant number of users have shifted from brick-and-mortar casinos to online casino platforms. It explains the rise of several websites that offer incredible online casino experiences. And well, Rocket Play is an excellent example of such a website. The site provides users with an abundance of online games you can play and, hopefully, win fucking big.
Stay Casino! Slots are, by far, the most popular game at any casino, whether online or on land. The barrier of entry is extremely low, the gameplay is simple, and the rules are clear. You don’t have to spend time learning confusing strategies or dealing with upset players at a live table. It can just be you, your machine, and a big jackpot.
Power Slots popped up in my DMs this morning, even before I’d dragged myself out of bed. Maybe it was just the sleep crust built up inside my brain, still to be shaken out by coffee and sunlight, but I guess I must have read the title wrong. I clicked on the link as I adjusted my morning wood, getting ready to fap to boss ladies or maybe the kind of muscle-bound bitches who could crush my head between their thighs like an overripe watermelon. You can imagine my surprise when it turned out the site had nothing at all to do with Power Sluts. So I put the lube aside; for this review, I’d need to dig out my wallet, or at least the electronic version of it.
I pulled up Net Bet Casino this morning on my laptop, right as I was waking up, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes and adjusting my morning wood. For a moment, before brushing the night’s cobwebs out of my head, I thought I was about to watch a movie. That’s what I usually do here at ThePornDude when I’m reviewing a website, and the clean, round edges of NetBet’s front page reminded me of NetFlix. Then I realized the “Bet” part of the title was the real keyword. So instead of grabbing the lube off my nightstand, I checked the balance of my crypto wallet.
Like porn, casino games are addictive and make for a fun way to pass the time. But if you don’t want to go out for the evening, don’t fucking do it! You don’t have to leave your home just to play some casino games in the digital age. In fact, by staying home, you will have access to more casino games than you probably would at a local casino anyway!
What’s at Stake over at Stake.com? It’s a little different from the type of joints I typically review here at ThePornDude because usually, the wager is just on how hard you’re eventually going to cum into your old trusty, crusty gym sock. Here, you can bet and win real money instead of just hoping your orgasms are good. Some folks even say that gambling is just as much fun as masturbation and a lot nicer than fucking your fat wife, but it doesn’t take a genius to notice that not all online gambling dens are created equal. But what about one that’s pulling nearly half a million players a day?
What’s Wild Casino got that makes them so much wilder than the other online gambling dens out there? Is it some Wild West shit where you might have a six-gun pulled on you during a game of poker, or is it a safari theme with an added risk of being mauled by a lion while playing a slot machine? Maybe they mean something else entirely when they say wild. Then again, perhaps it’s just another random word tacked onto “Casino” for the sake of branding. And hey, you’ve got to single out your product somehow.