Did the Pandemic kill your weekly trip to the local casino? Who the fuck even wants to visit that disease-ridden place anyway?! I say good riddance! Besides, you don’t need to visit a casino to get that fucking bet on!
Are you looking for an online casino that you can play until you can’t click or tap anymore? Well, you might as well check out True Fortune! It’s yet another of the numerous online casinos that have become popular over the recent past years. With COVID-19 fucking up everyone’s shit, this industry has only grown in numbers and popularity.
Video Slots! Are you looking for a bit of a risk? No, I’m not talking about getting blown by a hooker with a strange wart on her lip. I’m talking about financial risks. Putting your money on the line for the chance to win big bucks or lose it all. Sure, yeah, you could go to a real-life casino, but who the fuck has time for that? You can gamble away your savings from the comfort of your crusty fap den. Hell, you won’t even have to leave your bed if you don’t want to. And the king of online casino games is slots. They’re easy to play. You can play with pennies on the dollar. And it’s a great way to kill some time and make a little bit of pocket change.
Casino Purple! You are all complete fucking degenerates! I bet the scant seconds of the day you’re not squeezing cum out of your dick are few and far between. The idea of taking a palm off your cock for even a second sounds like hell to you. What else could add spice to this miserable existence but the constant pleasure of cock rubbing?
Are you hungry for some live betting action? Or what about some casino games that will have your fingers aching as you play the slots or throw down your cards? If you live in Nigeria and want an online casino made just for you, get your ass over to Bet9Ja!
How fucking awesome would it be if you could bet on your favorite casino games from the comfort of your own home? That would be goddamn amazing! You could sit around in your pajamas all day and win just as much as you would if you went to an actual casino! You may even save some money. You can drink from home instead of buying those high-priced beverages!
Jungs, es ist Zeit, euer Geld zu verprassen. Wenn du ein erwachsener Mann über oder unter 42 Jahren bist, dann solltest du wissen, dass du dein hart verdientes Geld am besten entweder für teuren Wein ausgibst oder es an einem Spielautomaten verspielst. Teurer Wein schmeckt wie billiger Wein - alle Weine schmecken wie ScheiÃe. Trink ein Bier und verspiel dein Geld wie ein echter Mann, okay?
When you visit Wildz for the first time, you may be inclined to think that it’s a place where you can watch a hot granny get her fuck on while riding a motorcycle. Or jumping out of an airplane. I love to jerk off to about any kind of porn out there, but this isn’t that kind of fucking site.
Listen up, cryptocucks, I’ve got a treat for you guys this time around. If you don’t know what the fuck a Bitcoin even is or how sites like Coinbase work, then this one might not be for you. Some people say that investing in any cryptocurrency is a gamble. Hell, the folks over there trying to rocket Dogecoin to over $1 know that shit all too well. People will invest millions in meme currencies, but Bitcoin is the big daddy of crypto. It’s the most respected and most used version of this stuff out there. Just one of the damn coins is worth tens of thousands. But what if investing in a fluctuating currency isn’t enough of a risk to get your heart beating?
Casino gaming hasn't evolved in what feels like fucking forever. It is goddamn ridiculous if you ask me. From video games to those boring ass card games your grandmother plays, every facet of gaming has changed with the times. But not casinos. Even when online gambling has been trying to break out and have its moment, countries like the United States have kept it from evolving.
BitStarz has only been around since 2004, making it significantly younger than some of the other online betting parlors like SportsBetting or BetUS. That ripe freshness doesn’t stop eager gamblers from streaming in every day, and in fact, they’re nearly as popular as some of their longer-standing competition. You can’t jerk off to their site like most of the joints I’m reviewing here at ThePornDude, but I’m pretty sure they fit my theme with their brand of adults-only entertainment.BitStarz.com is an online casino where you can gamble with traditional cash or some of that newfangled Internet money.
MrPlay! It’s time to have a little bit of fun. Believe it or not, you can use the internet for more than guilt-ridden fap seshes, online doujinshi shops, and doom scrolling on some nerdy social media site. Yeah, I know, it’s fucking wild. But it’s time to stop with all of that boring shit that’s not even getting you any pussy. Do you know what horny sluts like most? No, it’s not a big dick, godly body, or a kind personality. It’s what makes the world go round. I’m talking about greenbacks, dosh, cash, money, and fat stacks. Nothing makes a babe’s inhibitions vanish faster than you showing her a massive balance in your account.
Sloto Cash has been trusted online since 2007, at least if you’re willing to believe the catchphrase beneath the logo. I’m kind of a hands-on motherfucker, though, and you’ll know that if you’ve ever read my pornography reviews. This joint requires a different type of repetitive hand motion than I’m usually doing, but it’s still a vice, which means I’m pretty fucking good at it. Finish jerking off, pack the bong, unwrap some candy and keep on biting those nails—it’s time to add gambling to the list of bad habits you’ll keep today.
Liberty Slots sound a hell of a lot more noble than your average online casino. This isn’t your typical house of gambling; no, these brave warriors are standing up for your right to live without the tyranny imposed by oppressive forces determined to ruin your fun. Fuck the teetotalers, the prudes and the Junior Anti-Sex League! We’re grownups around here, and we demand the liberty to bang hookers, curse like sailors while getting wasted, and yeah, to gamble while sitting on the toilet!
Ducky Luck! Most of you cucks come here to get your rocks off by jerking off to slutty bimbos getting railed. But some of you need a different kind of stimulation. No, you degenerates(perverts); I’m not talking about ballbusting.
Why the hell are you still going to a fucking casino? Nobody wants to stand around pulling greasy slots while smelling joint cream for hours. Or listening to some intoxicated dipshit brag about how he has oil drilling operations all over the world and still wearing a tank top and a stained MAGA cap. Yeah, right, dumb ass, you’re not fucking fooling anyone!
SpinCasino! Have you been missing out on getting your gamble on during COVID? Or maybe you just hate going outside and getting your bet on around other people. I feel you. There are plenty of weird fucks that visit casinos. Especially late at night when it’s only the C-level staff running the joint. That’s when the bizarre shit happens; you’ve got no idea.
Are you looking to secure the fortune of your dreams finally? Of course, you are. Fuck hard work, long hours, and begging for cash. That’s no way to make fat stacks of dosh quickly and easily. There’s a simple solution, and it’s called gambling. Sure, sure, you’re more likely to end up without a penny to your name as you beg people on the streets to let you wash their windshields for a cigarette and a slap on the ass, but it’s a better chance than what you’ve got working whatever bullshit job you’re currently at. And you don’t even have to leave the comfort of your cum-crusted mattress or gaming battle station to try your luck and see if you can win big.
You may think that your broke ass doesn’t belong at a place like Royal Vegas Casino. I don’t know if I should disagree with that. If this was a physical casino that looks as lustrous as it sounds, I would probably be correct.
I want to Play OJO sometimes after playing with myself. As you may well know, masturbation is my primary vice, so much so that I’ve dedicated entire websites to it. The thing is, after you blow a load, there’s that recharging period where you don’t feel all that horny.
Roobet’s been around for a couple of years now, but like anything crypto-related, they’ve grown steadily as interest in fake Internet money continues to gain steam. One bitcoin is worth nearly $60,000 today and the early investors are all rich, but hey, it’s arguably still a very young currency with a lot of room to get even bigger. You could do the old-timey crypto gambling method of just sitting on your stash, hoping it matures, or you could get a little more proactive with the risk and the sweet, sweet rewards.
Bet Online! Do you wish that you could still visit a physical casino and get your gamble on? Well, I hate to break it to you, mother fucker. Those places are either dead, dying, or only for old farts that smell like yesterday’s takeout. The future of casinos is the Internet, just like everything else.
Sports Betting has been a popular pastime ever since the invention of sports. The cavemen bet shiny pebbles their dudes would win at rock-chucking, and I used to gamble my lunch money on the outcome of afterschool dodgeball games. These days, thanks to the magic of the Internet, it’s easier than ever to risk some money for a chance at big-time rewards. I know I usually spend my time here convincing you to check out all my favorite masturbatory hangouts, but even ThePornDude likes to keep some extra vices off to the side.
Bet US calls themselves America’s Favorite Sportsbook, a claim supported by their traffic stats. A whopping eighteen-thousand visitors are dropping by every day to bet on their favorite teams or drop virtual tokens loaded with real money into Internet slot machines. That’s way more than I had beating on my door when I started running an unlicensed catfighting ring in my basement, and these guys are a fully licensed sportsbook. There may be fewer stray boobies bouncing around their operation, but it’s all legit and you don’t even have to pick your lazy ass up off the couch.
My Bookie lets me place bets on the Internet, but does yours? The Internet has made gambling so fucking easy that it’s rare these days for anybody to go meeting some sketchy bookie dude in a dimly lit diner, risking their kneecaps for a piece of the pie. In its place, you can just place your bets from the comfort of your own home and use the same site to play casino games while you wait for your team to deliver the ball to the right side of the playing area. Welcome to the future, motherfuckers!
Casumo has been around since 2012, and they’ve managed to build up quite a following. Nearly 20,000 visitors are coming by every day, which is saying a lot considering how difficult this site is to masturbate to. Of course, I wouldn’t be talking about it here at ThePornDude if it wasn’t relevant. It may not be porn, but gambling is a vice too, right?