BetWhale

Are you a Bet Whale? That’s a rhetorical question meant to introduce the site title right at the start of my review, but honestly, it opens the door to some serious discussion about what constitutes a whale in the world of online gambling. Before you get scared away, I’m pretty sure it’s just a branding thing; they ain’t going to kick you out if you’re just placing regular-ass bets instead of dropping a grand with every wager. Hell, maybe using the site at all will earn you the title of Bet Whale, but I ain’t giving out badges and neither are they.

You’ve probably pieced it together from the title and my intro, but BetWhale.ag is an online sportsbook and casino where you can bet and win real money. They’re a newer joint, just getting off the ground recently, but they’re already pulling a quarter million visits a month with a lot more on the horizon. I may be The Porn Dude, but dirty movies ain’t my only vice. Let’s see if can win some money, shall we?

Gambling with the Ocean’s Giants

Looking at the leagues represented out front, it seems clear they want that fat-pocketed American userbase. I dug into the BetWhale.ag Terms and Conditions to see who was allowed to play. They do have a fairly long list of prohibited countries, including the Netherlands, France, Romania and the expected Muslim nations. The good news is that Americans can play here, no VPN required. As elsewhere, playing with a VPN from a banned country can result in lost winnings, angry wives, divorce and the downward spiral that follows.

If you’ve read my casino reviews here at ThePornDude, you know I’m always advising my visitors to make sure they check out the Promos page on any gambling site, because the deals ain’t necessarily all listed out front. BetWhale makes things a bit easier, because they really do list all the promo offers out front, about halfway down the page. They’ve got some sweet welcome bonuses and other promos to lure you away from your other favorite sites. Right now, the welcome offers include a 125% deposit bonus worth up to $1250 on sports, or a 250% bonus for casino games.

And how would you like to cash in those welcome offers today? Bet Whale has some solid banking options for both crypto and traditional currency. Deposits are fast as fuck, either instant or a mere 15 minutes, while payouts can take up to 5 days depending on how you want it; bitcoin payouts are the fastest at 1-3 days. It’s worth noting that, unlike some of the sketchier online casinos, you’ll have to verify your identity with cards and photos before cashing out.

Oh, and remember my little philosophical discussion in the opener about what constitutes a Bet Whale? Given the name, I really expected some high-ass limits, but I was wrong. You can deposit up to a grand with VISA or unlimited with crypto/Tether, but all types of payouts are capped at $500. Perhaps you can be a Bet Whale, but you’re not allowed to be a Cashout Whale. Sorry, folks.

Putting My Money Where My Mouth Is

So, what’s your game? I ask because you can bet on damn near any sport out there. They’ve obviously got the shit Americans are crazy about, like football, basketball, baseball, hockey and MMA. It ain’t strictly an American site, though, and they like to keep the options wide open, so you can also put a wager on tennis, darts, rugby or handball, just to name a random handful.

I like how the eSports betting page has a live Twitch feed at the top of the screen. As I type this up, I’m watching a dude blast through the competition at Call of Duty. Video games are well represented at BetWhale, with opportunities to bet everything from Age of Empire IV to StarCraft to Valorant to Counter-Strike.

I was hoping for some weird-ass shit to bet on under Bet Whale’s Specials tab. I’ve seen sites where you can bet on random things like politics and TV shows, but the only oddball wager here is on Bitcoin props. I feel like buying BTC is its own form of gambling, but hey, why not get all meta with it? It’s like setting up a mirror and a video camera to watch yourself fuck while you’re fucking.

I Can Almost Smell the Cigarette Smoke and Hookers

The casino is well organized, and initially loads up with those tried-and-true standards of any gambling den: the humble slot machine. The whole spread is going to look mighty familiar if you’re a regular internet gambler, as they’ve got hundreds of slots from the top game makers.

If you’ve ever felt like online casinos all have the same games, well, they kind of do. If you find yourself on a website where everything looks strange and unfamiliar, it ain’t a good sign. You want those trusted brands at your fingertips, not some sketchy shit nobody has ever heard of. The best virtual slots always come from the same handful of companies.

After perusing the fruit machines, I headed down the hall where people were throwing dice and shuffling cards. BetWhale has got all the expected table games, including entire sections of Blackjack and Video Poker games. There’s also roulette and baccarat galore, in just about every flavor, plus Red Dog, Pontoon and Pai Gow.

Part of the appeal of online gambling is that you can play with a bong at your lips and your dick in your hand. If you still crave a little bit of human interaction while you’re at it, BetWhale also has a killer selection of live dealer games. You can tell they’re popular because of how many games have zero seats left, but there are so many tables that you should be able to find a spot. Roulette, blackjack, baccarat and super6 are all available, which is either going to be very good or very bad for my wallet. I’ll let you know one day.

By the end of my Bet Whale tour today, I didn’t have any serious complaints. For such a new operation, it looks like they’ve got everything lined up very well right from the start. If I have any suggestion, it’s just that I like seeing those scrolling feeds of current winners on some of the other online casinos. When you’re online, you don’t get the constant sirens and alarms of other players winning around you, but I’ve found those gambler leaderboards get me motivated in a very similar way. If I know other people are winning around me, I know I’ve got a shot!

BetWhale.ag is worth a look if you’re an online gambler looking for a new sportsbook or casino, especially with those awesome welcome bonuses. That said, I’m not sure there’s anything really special about this joint, at least not yet. It just seems like your run of the mill gambling site, albeit with one of the prettier layouts I’ve seen in a while. There’s no major downside to the place, so what have really got to lose? Well, besides the usual, I mean.