Parasited

I got Parasited once as a child. It happened pretty innocently: I dropped my Fruit Roll-Up in the sand, and I wasn’t about to let that delicious, rainbow-colored tube of sugar and smashed pears go to waste just because it had become filthy. It’s a rule I still live by to some extent, as I’ve grown to be a proudly filthy man, but I certainly learned my lesson about eating sand when the doctor told me I had worms. These days, I avoid becoming the host to foreign organisms, but I was weirdly surprised to find a porn site turning parasitism into sexy scenarios.

Parasited.com calls itself Your #1 Parasited Porn Sauce. I usually call bullshit on the constant claims of “We’re Number One” from every porn site under the sun, from dinky free tubes to sprawling reality porn networks, but I was ready to believe these guys pretty much immediately. Hell, this is one and only paysite I know of putting out premium sci-fi porno about parasites. Being the only example of a niche certainly puts them at an advantage, but how good is the porno? That’s what I aimed to find out, but not before popping a couple antiparasitic pharmaceuticals with my usual morning bowl of boner pills.

Who Got Their Mucus in My Semen?

I see some babes with their eyes rolling back in their heads, a common site on any porn site worth a pump or two of lube. What’s far less common are eyes that have gone fully white as a result of alien parasitism. “Alien parasites are taking over the minds of the hottest babes on the planet and making them do their biddings,” reads the tiny blurb below the front-page montage.

Aside from the general freakiness of the theme, the other thing you’ll probably notice right away are the production values. Parasited.com puts out polished, cinematic movies that straddle the line between hardcore pornography and indie science fiction. Most porn sites don’t even have a special effects budget, but these guys are clearly pumping cash into the entire presentation.

The preview situation is a little atypical, but at least it’s a step up from all the paysites where all the “Play” buttons on the tour just lead to a signup page. The sneak peeks here are silent GIFs, but they do give a lovely look at the kind of action you’ll be seeing inside. The preview for Maid shows a parasite crawling into Amirah Adara’s pussy, and then crawling from Amirah’s mouth to Clemence Audiard’s twat, followed by the two mind-controlled babes eating the hell out of each other’s cooters. If you’ve ever jacked off to a David Cronenberg film, you’re going to fucking love this.

Cheaper Than a Dose of Piperazine or Ivermectin

That ain’t the only thing Parasited has in common with Hentaied and Futanari. They’re also working with some gorgeous and famous pornstars. Besides the babes I’ve already mentioned, they’ve worked with Valentina Nappi, Cherry Kiss, and Tiffany Tatum. Deep niche sites often have to settle for whoever their budgets can afford, which often leaves the more perverted masturbators shaking their dicks at ugly girls and no-name sluts. Not here.

If there’s one obvious downside to Parasited, it’s just the newness of the thing. As of this writing, Parasited.com has seven movies. That’s lousy by any paysite standard, and with the sporadic release rate, it's hard to say how soon they’ll fill up. I will mention that when Hentaied first came out, I was worried they wouldn’t get enough subscriptions to keep making movies. They’ve exploded since I wrote my original review, and I hope to see the same thing happen here.

A lot of you may be reluctant to sign up for a paysite with 7 vids and no clear release schedule, but there’s another option. Parasited offers monthly subscriptions or Video On Demand (VOD). Individual flicks currently go for 13 euros, which is roughly a buck a minute, a common price for fetish porn. It’s worth noting that downloads ain’t included in the membership, so you’ll still have to pay if you want to save them for later.

Parasited.com asks for an email address before you can even see the membership prices, which is becoming a paysite pet peeve of mine. The good news is that they’re offering an introductory offer of 30% off, putting the monthly rate at €19.99, which is cheaper than your average paysite. Despite the small catalog, that’s a fair price for such deep-niche masturbatory material.

I Think Something is Wrong with These Pornstars

It's only about ten minutes long, opening with a slow, spooky pan toward a suburban home. The male star, Vince, is pacing around, looking tense in the opening moments, and doesn’t look relieved at all when a slippery, glistening wet Valentina struts naked into the room. “You are not acting right,” he says as she tries to put the moves on him. He pushes her onto the couch and turns around, where he discovers Cherry Kiss lurking behind him. She grabs his face and gives him a mucous-dripping kiss while Valentina pets her kitty, and then Vince falls on the floor puking.

Slime or not, I’m not sure I would be running from the two aggressive pornstars. This scene rolls some good femdom into the weird alien shit. Cherry restrains Vince while Valentina covers his feet in ooze before sucking his cock. Vince finally seems like he’s getting into it when Cherry rides his face, because he laps at her pussy until she releases a torrent of thick, clear slime all over him.

“Now you’re going to know what it is like to fuck my assistant,” Valentina tells Vince. “You always wanted to know.” For such a short scene, they manage to include a fair amount of variety. There’s cock riding and doggystyle, dick sucking and a ton of pussy eating. You’ll also be treated to a few gallons of alien slime and milky white, simulated semen.

“Ultimate climax is the best pleasure of all,” Cherry tells Valentina as she gives Vince a footjob, explaining he’ll become a sex slave if she choses that option. The movie ends with the girls giggling as Valentina moves off camera, her decision made.

Parasited.com is definitely not a porn site I would recommend to just anybody. Like Hentaied, however, it’s a much easier recommendation for anybody who’s into freaky-ass hentai and wish they could find live-action versions of the stuff. The movies are beautifully, cinematically and weirdly produced, each starring high caliber pornstars in slime-drenched hardcore sci-fi scenarios. Even if the premise doesn’t turn you on immediately, the tour page is worth a look if only for the wild, exotic novelty of it all. Who knows? You may even find a brand-new fetish to crank off to.