Daughter For Dessert

DfD aka Daughter For Dessert! Sometimes, when I’m deep in the depths of a week-long masturbation binge, I forget to eat. It’s kind of ironic, given all the cherry popping and creampie filling I see on an hourly basis, but the body just forgets all about sustenance when it’s trying to clean the pipes of all that built-up, sticky sex goo. Daughter for Dessert is a perverted videogame that addresses the issue head-on, with hopefully some head-giving included.

Daughter for Dessert is hosted by Love-Joint-Games.com, who gets about 5000 visitors per day. That may be a few less than Fortnite, but it’s presumably a lot easier to jerk off to. I’m just going off of the name so I could be totally wrong, but they’ve also got nearly 6000 paying patrons on Patreon. I’ve got my junk out and I just gassed up the wall-mounted penile stimulator, so let’s take a look at what those visitors are shaking their wieners at.

No Taboo in This Taboo Game? WTF?

“This is fiction. All characters are 18+. There is no blood relationship between any characters, and all intercourse is completely consensual.”

As a dude who looks at a lot of kinky shit on the Internet, I can tell you that a warning like that is generally a cover-your-ass legal thing. I’m now really hoping that warning is a big, fat lie or at least a very misleading half-truth.

The image on the page doesn’t move, but it’s already clear this isn’t some half-ass bullshit some retard drew in MS Paint a decade ago, nor is it made of pixelly graphics that would have looked good back in 1992. The young sluts laying on a beach in their bikinis, staring seductively at the camera, are rendered in a realistic CG style. You don’t have to be some kind of hentai weirdo to get a boner for these hotties.

There’s a link back to the Love Joint website and a Patreon page at the bottom of the screen, but I’m ready to jump right in. There is an option to Download Game, but I’m opting to Start Game in the browser. Not because I’m worried about having pornographic games on my desktop like you might be if you’re wanking along at work or home, but because I’m all lubed up and I probably shouldn’t have taken that third dose of Chinese erectile enhancement pills.

Running a Diner to Tie the Sex Scenes Together

After choosing a name, I’m dropped into an empty diner with some dialogue scrolling at the bottom of the screen. This is Chapter 1 of Daughter for Dessert. I’m the boss, I guess, and I’m telling these hot servers what to do. So far it’s just boring shit, like making coffee, but I start getting ideas as soon as women start following my instructions.

The girls doing the voice acting have fuckably cute, sweet voices even if the acting is a little bit stiff. The music, though, is some seriously faggy acoustic guitar noodling that sounds like it’s setting up for a heartfelt, sexless moment on a boring teen drama. I clicked the Options gear to cancel that bullshit immediately.

Have you ever wanted to run a diner? That sounds like a lot of fun, right? Waiting on customers, managing employees and resources, that sort of thing? Yeah, me neither. After just a few minutes, I was selecting my dialogue randomly and hoping for the best. I honestly do not give a flying fuck what any of these customers want or if the business closes or gets blown up by terrorists. Show me some goddamn boobs!

(There is a Skip button that works like an 88 DeLorean, sending you ahead through time and past all the boring shit. They must know a lot of us get bored reading and managing coffee orders. You will miss dialogue and be forced to respond anyway.)

The First Sighting of CGI Boobies

Finding dirty pictures and videos is always fun, in real life and in porn games. I thought the game was setting up a scavenger hunt thing, and all the prizes were going to like this. Daughter for Dessert does one better. When my dude is finished looking at her smut, he finds erotica she wrote featuring him.

“Porndude was busy in the kitchen when his childhood friend walked in, her hips moving with a happy little sway from the present he just gave her.”

It gets a lot dirtier. Apparently, she wants my sperm on her face, so it seemed like this was leading to a good sex scene. My dude pussed out, though. He put the phone away and started reminiscing about some boring non-sex that I skipped.

Let’s Skip to the Sex Scenes

The sex is unanimated, just a few detailed CG renders of a big-tittied slut who want my balls. There’s a fair amount of dialogue to click through while listening to wet penetration sounds, but it’s a boring conversation and not about sex. I feel like I’m watching Game of Thrones and they’re just including nudity so I’ll pay attention to the boring parts.

A couple of minutes later it ends abruptly, and I’m faced once again with blue balls and another teasing conversation with my daughter. I try to hide my erection by claiming it’s my turgid and dripping set of car keys, because the option to just give it to her is not provided.

I pressed the Skip button more and more as the chapter progressed. I got a date with my employee who wants my cock, but it didn’t go anywhere. I went back home and I think something might have happened while I was Skipping, but I don’t know. My daughter flashed on the screen in what may have been an intimate scene. I know that when I got back to the diner and Skipped, some naked asses flashed by without pausing for my enjoyment. That Skip mechanism needs some serious work.

After missing the butts, I got a message saying thanks for playing Chapter 1 of DFD. To play more chapters or other games they’ve come up with, I’ll have to become a paying patron.

Porn games always work by making you do some non-sexual stuff in exchange for some dirty pictures or interactive banging scenes. If you browse my Porn Games Sites list, you know it’s usually some tedious monster-fighting followed by some blowjobs and anal. Daughter for Dessert is more of a legit dating simulator. All the in-between bits, which is most of the game, lead to sex in a much more meaningful and realistic way. I’ve gotten laid much more often after getting a broad horny than after stabbing an orc with a penis-shaped sword. The big question is, have you got what it takes to bag one of these bitches?

Getting laid, or even just looking at the pictures, ain’t a cakewalk in Daughter for Dessert. This is a game for people who appreciate the hunt, or neckbeards looking for a reasonable simulation of female interaction. The creators have built a very immersive world to play around in, so make sure you got some extra time on your hands.