Cunt Wars

CuntWars aka Chick Wars! What a fucking name for a site. They are definitely not messing around. No, Cunt Wars is not about a couple of chicks finally duking it out in a ring, though that would be amazing. Cuntwars.com, made by hooligapps, is a card-based strategy game. I know, I know. It sounds lame, but before you go zipping up your pants and taking your wank elsewhere, hear me out. I’m usually pretty bored by porn games in general. There’s never enough action, the game concept is usually pretty weak, and there’s always some sort of catch where you have to play for ten hours before you see a titty. This game is a welcome change to that overdone formula.

Awesome Desktop and Mobile Experience

Cuntwars also has a mobile version of the game where you can download an app and continue your bitch collecting, demon-slaying journey over there. It’s not on the Android or IOS store, but if you type in the website on your phone it will take you to a page where you can install the app. And I have to say, it runs fucking great. All of the same functions as the desktop version. No lag. You can sync your progress, too. The only issue is that it’s a bit of a battery drain, but it’s really not the kind of game you could play outside of your home unless you want people seeing big titty hentai babes all over your screen. So, I’d definitely recommend playing in the comfort of your home.

Straightforward Plot with Jaw-Dropping Illustrations and Animation

The game is great to look at too. Fantastic animation and tons of lewd characters, scenes, and cards. Everything has vibrant colors, and it genuinely looks like the artists put a lot of time into crafting all the sexy shit you get to see. Hell, the loading screen shows your boy Adam surrounded by all kinds of hot demon bitches doing all kinds of kinky shit. The cards and graphics aren’t all boring vanilla shit either. You get bondage, oral, anal, squirting, lactation, feet, and all kinds of fetishy scenes for all of you sick fucks out there.

Every time you win or lose a fight you get this victory or defeat card that shows your character either fucking or getting tied up by all of your enemies. And it’s not the same graphics every time like other games. You get different scenes depending on what monsters you fight. That’s pretty fucking sweet.

Easy Game to Pick Up

Basically, you play the game by drawing a hand full of cards with sexy demons, angels, and other fantasy chicks. Then, you can set cards out on the field below in a melee row or set down cards in one of the two ranged rows in the back. The opponent can then place cards in front of yours so that they can do battle, while moaning and making cute hentai noises along the way of course. Each card has different abilities like splash damage, piercing damage, summoning, double attacks, shields, etc. It’s a full-fledged strategy card game for sure.

The goal in a battle is to defeat the opponent by getting past their cards and hitting them directly until they are all out of hearts. You hit opponents directly by having no enemy cards in front of your cards. Once that happens, your bitches will attack them directly and deal damage to their heart counter. When they hit zero you win and usually get coins, gems, and experience.

Lewd Characters, Minimal Microtransactions, and Sexy Character Upgrades

It doesn’t get you any exclusive porn that I can see and that kind of blows. Experience allows you to upgrade your bitches and make them more powerful. When they get more powerful, you probably guessed it, their cards get lewder and they get sexier. I upgraded one of my snake ladies and it made it so that she lost her shirt. Now, her tits bounce around when she’s on the battlefield. Hell yeah.

The main storyline has you fight through the various circles of hell to defeat demon lords. When you get to the end of a quest you unlock a kinky image of your character in some sort of hot scenario. The images aren’t animated as I would have liked to see, but they are still really fucking good for a porn game. You can even go back to view them in the gallery if you need some private viewing time. But the Journey section where you embark on the main plot is only a small section of the game.

The true game comes when you complete that and get to the various Leagues. These leagues are raids that you can do alone or with other players and friends online. You can also engage in one on one battles with players online to earn much more gems, coins, and experience than you would just doing story missions. These leagues go from 1 to 29. You start at 30 and eventually make your way down to 1 by doing battles and leveling up. And judging by the chatbox that constantly runs behind the game client, I would say this game is pretty fucking active. Lots of players to team up with, so you don’t have to worry about getting really into this game only to find out that the servers are a ghost town.

ThePornDude’s Favorite Features

Also, the balancing of the game is on point. What I mean by that is that games like this usually push too much game and not enough porn. Cuntwars is a pretty perfect blend of both genres here. They give you the porn you want without also sacrificing the gameplay for it. It’s competitive, fun, challenging, and hot as fuck. It’s like the perfect girlfriend.

ThePornDude’s Final Suggestions

ThePornDude’s Final Thoughts